I realized I haven’t written much about my parents since we left for Japan. My dad took a very bad fall about five weeks ago and has been in a rehabilitation center in Voorhees, NJ ever since. I’m actually very happy about this, because he is well and in a safe place with plenty of staff to support and care for him. Mom is rather tired from visiting him every day, but it’s good to know she no longer is attempting to care for him by herself. Matthias and I want my dad to be in a long-term care facility in the worst way, but my parents are very resistant to the idea. We are hopeful that this summer we can talk with them about the idea and that eventually dad will be able enter a long-term care facility, the sooner the better. I can hardly wait to hug my parents in a few weeks!
I suppose most people who are going through this stage of watching your parents fail are a bit older than me. Five years ago, I had a talk with a friend (who was only in her late 20’s) whose father was elderly and on the brink of death. She said to me, “Danielle, people don’t usually lose their parents of old age in their 20’s. It’s usually in your 40’s or 50’s, right? There aren’t many like us, watching our parents grow old and frail when we’re still so young. It’s not easy. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone my age about this.” Yeah, it’s not easy. I really miss my dad the way he used to be, so vibrant, goofy, and funny. He went downhill so quickly – within about two years he went from somewhat stable to just awful. I feel so young and yet so old at the same time. Even though I just got married and life feels so new and fresh, I feel old because I am losing my beloved parents. I know I probably don’t have much time with them, especially my dad, and I am so thankful for my dear husband’s support during these very sad and emotional days. I have my good days and very bad days.